2016 movies I’ve seen.
I rank them, best to worst. You
may notice I positively review nearly all of them… that’s because I’d like to
think I have better-than-average skill at picking movies to spend my
hard-earned cash to see. The ones I
didn’t like so much, are lower on the list.
Arrival – One of
the better-best aliens – science fiction movie, I have seen in a long
time. Nearly better than the usual’s
(StarWars, StarTrek, Alien franchises).
Feckless humans try to communicate with otherworldly beings that are
trying to help us and not destroy us.
This seems most plausible.
Into the Forest –
Saw this on Amazon Prime. This movie
still haunts me. Two teenaged sisters
and their father manage through a worldwide electrical outage. They live in an isolated house in the
hills, and must learn to survive on their own after their father meets with a tragic accident.
10 Cloverfield Lane
– I’m not one for horror movies anymore.
I used to love the horror genre.
I still enjoy those old, campy Hammer films with Peter Cushing,
Christopher Lee and Vincent Price, etc. But, since real life has sort of taken on the
same sensibilities as any campy horror movie, it’s hard to love scary movies
anymore. Turn on the TV, and anything
they show is at least as scary as any horror movie.
This story, is sort of a companion story to the first
Cloverfield, from 2008. A woman driving
along a deserted road, is involved in a serious car accident. She awakens to find herself recovering in an underground
bunker, with a very scary John Goodman (Howard) and mousy Emmet as her
hosts.
Super- paranoid Howard is claiming there has been an “alien
attack” and the outside is not safe.
But, Michelle is begging to wonder if this is just a sick, twisted game
Howard is playing. My gosh, this movie… is
as sit-on-the-edge of your seat as any physiological drama, second to
none. Even better than “The Birds.”
Deadpool – Ryan Reynolds
is just one of those actors that seems like he has a sneer behind every
look. Works PERFECTLY for what I
consider is by far the BEST of Marvel Movies (Sorry, X-Men). Breaking down the 4th wall
(Talking directly to the audience), and making a joke out of nearly everything. But, honestly, wouldn’t you act the same way
if you found out that though you were invincible, you could never go home
because you’re totally a freak.
Oh, wait….. Yeah, that’s me.
But, Deadpool is right. It really
IS a love story.
The secret Life of
Pets – Animated movie. Cute, cute
movie. Not awful at all.
Zootopia – Same
here….though, frankly, I think the sloths should get their own spin-off
(thinking of this now, as I’m standing in line at the local Walmart
store).
Star Trek Beyond - I liked this Star Trek much better than the second
movie. Some critics noted it felt more
like an extended TV version of Star Trek than a full-out big-budget
production. And that’s what I loved
about it, it felt like I was back in my parents’ house, sitting in my favorite
chair after school, PBJ sandwich and glass of milk, watching the sparkling
Captain Kirk and his mates go where “no man has gone before…”
Of course, this version was much updated with a kick-ass
chick, Jaylah, getting the crew out of trouble.
Let’s not forget, Uhura kickin’ some ass too.
Rogue One: A Star
Wars Story – Never thought I would say it, but I finally came across a Star
Wars movie that I didn’t really care for.
First off (Spoiler ALERT):
Everybody in this movie gets killed.
Plus, the induction of the first, real bring back to life-via digital
creepy digital effect.
Still, it is Star Wars… I think it’s written in the
constitution we must see and love all.
Doctor Strange – Funny that I barely remember the Doctor
Strange character from the Marvel comic books from when I was a kid. He seemed more an afterthought than
anything. I remember most of the stories
involved swamis and far eastern themes.
Stories I thought were covered much better in the Johnny
Quest universe.
Sometimes Hollywood has a habit of overdoing just about
everything. Take for example the super
heroes movies. Once relegated to the
every-once-in a while type of movie for the 10-15 year old set, sometimes they
bounced into the more adult world (Superman with Christopher Reeve, for
example) and were enjoyable and memorable.
Now days, I can’t seem to keep my superheroes, or their
universes correct… Batman vs. who?
This movie was a gem amongst the dreck (something I was
hoping for in Suicide Squad, and didn’t find)…
where the plot was actually good, and the acting, “good-er.”
This one is about a self-centered ego-maniac and Brilliant
surgeon Doctor Stephen Strange that finds himself nearly destroyed after a
terrible traffic accident. He no longer
can be the man he once was, but refuses to accept his fate.…
He uses his many resources to find a cure…. That leads him to the far East and right to
“the ancient one” (Tilda Swinton, in a
much-maligned roll as the ancient one…. Some accused her character as a dis to
ethnicity. I didn’t think so). There he discovers the truth of magic and
the world hidden behind the real one…
This is a great movie!
I recommend it!
Fantastic Beasts and
Where to Find Them – Confessional: I
have never seen a Harry Potter movie!
Never. I have not read the books,
nor ventured to the movies. I think I
got tuckered out from the last mega-franchise Lord of the Rings.
This, like Rogue One, is more a side-story to the main
vision. I really liked this movie…
great, amazing visual effects that were not overwhelming but very conducive to
the story.
The Jungle Book – It
is truly amazing what computer-generated movies are capable of these days. At no point did I not think I was watching a
cartoon… with Gigantic Orangutans (Played with deadpan gusto by Christopher
Walken), an evil and dangerous tiger, Shere Khan (Idirs Elba) and a singing
bear (Laconic Bill Murray). The movie
was a visual delight!
A little rough on the violence for the little ones… but, man…
You really do find you care about Mowgli and the rest throughout the
entire movie. Say it with me: This is the law of the jungle it's old and
it's true as the sky And the wolf that should keep it may prosper but the wolf
who will break it must die. For the strength of the pack is the wolf and the
strength of the wolf is the pack.
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot
– Seems like 2017 is turning out to be The Year of The Woman, regardless
(or maybe due to) whoever is in the Whitehouse.
I say it’s about time. The movie
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot (short for WTF?
Get it…) stars Tina Fey. The movie is based on a book based on the
book "The Taliban Shuffle: Strange
Days in Afghanistan and Pakistan" (A True Story, as they say) by
real-life reporter, Kim Barker.
Fay plays a stifled woman that decides to do something
different, and on a lark volunteers to do a stint covering the war in
Afghanistan as a correspondent. She is ill
prepared for the culture shock she encounters at first. The Ultimate fish out of water story…. Or….
Infidel in the war story.
At times, incredibly funny (well, it is Tina Fey),
heartbreaking and such a positive on the cultures we ‘mericans try so hard to
distrust. In many ways….”they” are much
like “us,” and yet, not at all.
This movie stayed with me for a very long
time. Though some of the story lines
seemed like television sitcom writers wrote them, it was…overall…. a real joy.
Passengers – I
was really looking forward to this movie!
It has…. Well, Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Pratt for starters. A spacecraft, 30 years from the home world,
and 90 years to go on its destination, while a town-load of people are deep in
hibernating sleep. Pratt… “Maintenance
guy”…. Seems like there is always at least one in every one of these
movies… wakes up from his sleep pod way
too soon… some 90 years or so….
He tries to find ways to fix his situation…. Only to run
into machines that simply tell him, “there is no problem.” Stupid machines!!
So, with only the Robot Bartender (Arthur) from “The
Shining” (no, kidding…. The vibe is
unmistakable, and quite on purpose, sir) as his companion, Jim Preston must now
live out the rest of his life among the sleeping multitude. This only goes okay for so long…before he
nearly goes mad with homesickness and need for companionship.
Through the logs of the crew, he gets to know Aurora Lane
(Jennifer Lawrence) and immediately falls for her. His temptation is that he should wake “Eve”
to be his mate to his “Adam.” He gives
in to temptation….
Like him, she is horrified that she is awakened early, but
has no idea that he (Jim) was the one that awoke her.
Of course, all-too-quickly, nature takes its’ course and
they fall madly for each other…. That is, until that sorta-evil Bartender blabs
about Jim….essentially taking her life away from her. (Stupid Machines!) She is understandably incensed….and
that ends the relationship.
Ah, but then the ship starts falling apart, causing Morpheus
(Laurence Fishburne…) to awaken from the crew cabin….and try to help the ship
right itself and they must work together to avert a tragedy.
My take on this one…is they had a great opportunity to
really make something cool here. A
modernized version of (one of my favorites) The World, the Flesh, and the Devil… Made in 1959.
A man (Harry Belafonte) and a woman…. Find
themselves the only ones left alive in NYC after a terrible nuclear
accident… Then, a 3rd…. and competing for the attention of “the only
woman in the world.” See? What a dynamic.
Passengers ends up being a lover’s spat…more than the
compelling human drama it could have been.
Still Lawrence and Pratt have great chemistry (pretty people usually do)
and it’s not a terrible movie… just could have been so much better.
The One’s that I
saw which I didn’t too much care for…
Money Monster - I
mean, how could you go wrong with George Clooney and Julia Roberts? This must be the way…. When they are on screen together, they are
amazing. But, Clooney stars as a
Jack Reacher - Read
my review from earlier. Meh….
Allied – Same for
Allied. Meh, except for Marion Cotillard....
Ghostbusters – Man,
what a waste! So much great talent, and
it just seemed like it was wasted on too many homages to the original.
BATMAN v SUPERMAN:
DAWN OF JUSTICE - It was
just….. wrong. So, batman is jealous of Superman, gets it in
his head to be….Well, better and finally defeat the S-one? How then…..well, build a better suit, that’s
how! Fill it full of Kryptonite! Funny, why didn’t any of the bad guys over
the years think of that?
As predicted on the faded wall of a New York City billboard
in the apocalyptic movie: I am Legend. It
predicted this was a sign of the end of the world. Next stop, “dark-seekers.”
Independence Day:
Resurgence - I want my money BACK! How could you do this? ID4 was a great, American sci-fi film! No, not Gone With the Wind great…. But, American Sci-fi great. As plodding and unkempt as any hulking John
Wayne movie.
So much of the public realized it wasn’t so much the aliens…
it was: the combination of Will Smith’s
Captain Steven Hiller (“Captain Kirk”), Jeff Goldblum’s David Levinson
(“Spock”) and Bill Pullman’s President Witmore (“Bones”)…. Along with the rest
of the characters from well-known series….
That makes ID4 (Along with its’ Cousin: Ammegeddon) one of the modern
go-to American movies vs. aliens.
But, take out Will Smith (Granted Jessie T. Usher did a
pretty good job here…. And he’s about the only one in this mess), reduce
Witmore to a whimpering sad sack, add in the few dozen homages to the
originals, and you have one, big mess.
Familiar characters were introduced and killed off in the same scene. And as per usual, the only ones dumber than
the good guys were the aliens. How will
we ever survive?
It was nominated for 2 Razzie awards (2017) for Worst
Picture and Worst director. Sadly, it
did not prevail even in winning here.
So many ask why haven’t they re-made some of the classics
like “Casablanca,” or “Streetcar Named
Desire,” This movie is your answer… and the original was never a classic. No matter how much you would like to, you
cannot go back….
